I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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