My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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