Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
