he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
