she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
