why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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