Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I think people are normalizing furries
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
