these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
