omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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