Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
im holly from the hills drunk
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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