i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
