I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
