And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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