yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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