You made me cry and you don't even care
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
