I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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