These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
