I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
