we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
