Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
