I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
