upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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