everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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