what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
