dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
