proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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