You really coming over, don't trick.
i think i have two assholes
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
