Screwed.edu
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Randomize
