i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
