Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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