he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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