oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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