smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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