You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
