so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
