i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
