just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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