he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize