Your tits are I can't wait for
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
