i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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