I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
