I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize