from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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