i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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