If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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