In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
