i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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