is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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