Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize