Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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