mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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