May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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