Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize