someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
