Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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