Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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