All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
