The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize
