Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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