Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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