Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
