So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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