I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
