She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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