Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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